So, apparently, “artificial ivy leaves” is a *thing*, and people are actually searching for “poison ivy leaves” in relation to it. Which is kinda weird, right? Like, are they trying to trick people? Or is it for, I dunno, some kind of weird costume thing? I saw something about “poison ivy costume on Temu,” so maybe that’s it. People dressing up as plant-based villains? Shrug.
I’m seeing all this online, and it’s a whole mess of stuff. You got your “unique or custom, handmade pieces” (which, honestly, sounds kinda pretentious for *fake* leaves), then you got your “artificial flowers shops” pushing the idea that these are somehow “the very best.” Best for what? Itching everyone you come in contact with? Okay, maybe not, cuz they’re fake. But still.
And then there’s this “Vibrant poison artificial ivy garland with 71 glossy green leaves” thing. SEVENTY-ONE leaves! That’s… a lot of fake poison ivy. Like, what are you supposed to *do* with that many? Decorate your nemesis’s house while they’re away? (Disclaimer: Don’t actually do that.) Also, the leaves “vary in colour from bright green to…” to what? It just kinda cuts off there! Classic. Just like my train of thought.
Oh, and “wholesale fake poison ivy leaves”? Seriously? Who’s buying that in bulk? I mean, I get it, businesses gotta buy stuff, but like, imagine the warehouse filled with boxes and boxes of fake poison ivy. The sheer volume of artifical itchiness… it’s kinda unsettling.
Then there’s the bit about “easier to care for and maintain.” Well, duh! It’s FAKE! That’s the whole POINT! You don’t have to water it, prune it, or worry about accidentally touching it and spending the next two weeks covered in calamine lotion.
Oh, and I saw something about a “Poison Ivy Plant Temporary Fake Tattoo Sticker.” Now *that* is kinda cool. You could totally prank someone with that. Just slap it on their arm and watch them freak out. (Again, disclaimer: maybe don’t do that. Friendships are valuable.)