Forget popping into Foot Locker for a new pair of Nikes. We’re talking levels of bougie that would make your grandma blush. We ain’t talking just “Nike By You” level custom, where you pick some colours and maybe slap your initials on ’em. We’re talking, apparently, *Hermes* custom.
See, Hermes has this whole “Special Order” thing. I mean, duh, everything they do is special order, right? But this is *special* special order. Think handbags that cost more than a down payment on a house. Then, apparently, translate that to footwear.
Now, I’m not gonna lie, I’m a bit confused. The articles kinda jump around. One minute it’s talking about “bespoke footwear” being a “complicated arena,” which, yeah, I bet it is. Like, figuring out the exact shade of orange you want on your hand-stitched calfskin loafers while sipping champagne? Complicated. Hard life, am I right?
Then there’s Pierre Hardy, who apparently designs the Hermes men’s shoe collection. I’m picturing him sketching furiously in a Parisian cafe, fueled by espresso and existential dread. Are these the shoes you can *then* customize? Or are they completely separate things? It’s all a bit…fuzzy. I reckon I’d have to sell my kidney to even get near the *thought* of custom Hermes.
But what REALLY gets me thinking is the other article about the “13 Best Shoemakers & Brands in the…” and then the sentence just ends! Like, what?! Where is it leading? Oh, and then it’s in Portuguese! I’m guessing they’re talking about custom shoemakers who can design “the shoes you’ve always dreamed of.” Makes sense, I think. Maybe. Probably not, actually.
It sounds a bit like Nike By You. But like, a million times more expensive. And probably a million times more exclusive.
Honestly, it’s all a bit of a fever dream of luxury. I’m picturing some oil baron commissioning a pair of alligator skin slippers lined with mink and monogrammed with his yacht’s name. I mean, why *not*, right?
Look, I’m not gonna pretend to be an expert on this. I’m just a person with a keyboard and a mild obsession with luxury goods I can’t afford. But the idea of custom Hermes shoes? It’s just…something else. Even if they come with a healthy dose of confusion.